Fictional Arrangements

The other day I was sitting in my house after a pretty tiring day at work, watching some under20’s football on Sky Sports. I was getting up to make some tea, when my phone rang, it was my friend Kirsty and the conversation went something like this:

K – Hey!

A – Hi, how are you?

K – Good. Are you inside?

Now, although a reasonably strange question, I still answered.

A – Yeah

K – Cool, I’ll see you in five minutes.

A – You’ll see me…? What are you talking about?

K – Yeah very funny, I’m on my way round.

A – You’re where?

K – Just round the corner from Tusk.

For those unaware, Tusk is a bar in Shawlands, about a twenty minute walk from my house. I wracked my brains trying to remember if I had made any plans and for the life of me, I couldn’t remember ever making any arrangements.

A – Eh, Kirst, I am still in my house.

K – What! You’re going to be so late – did you forget?

A – No I was never informed in the first place…right…give me 25mins and I’ll see you there.

So I rushed upstairs, got ready, bombed out the house and made it in time to meet my friend.

I really have no recollection of making these plans – which she informed me I had made the previous night – so it’s not likely I would have forgotten. The more I think about this – the more I am certain she made it up, possibly dreamt it or possibly was bored and wanted to go out – knowing that this tactic would make me feel guilty about “forgetting” and thus force a tired me into going out instead of sleeping.

It’s a tactic I may use in the future when needing someone to go out with – although most of my friends (Chris especially) would just tell me to fuck off…I, on the other hand, am just too nice.

So upon meeting Kirsty at the bar, we ordered some wine and had a conversation about how the situation had arisen, a conversation that the barman was also listening to in parts.

The conversation started:

K- Andy you’re so late

A – Yeah but I had no idea of this meeting!

K – You’re still late though

And the line he picked up and caused him to laugh out loud was:

“But I came really quickly – surely you were pleased with that?”

When paying for our drinks the barman gave me a smile – possibly out of pity.