Amsterdam Photo Tour (Part VI)

And so we come to the end of the photo tour of Amsterdam. The final two pictures are pretty much self-explanatory and require very little comment on behalf of myself.

Firstly, you have to admire the Australians for their honesty and don’t give a crap attitude, with this being the sign above Coco’s Outback Bar on Rembrandt Square…

And secondly, I couldn’t help but laugh at this photo of my girlfriend Claire. It’s so immature, but yet so so funny! Many thanks to her for allowing me to post it on my blog!

Although, it has to be said that the 75 min, works out at 12c per min, whereas the 90min works out at 15c per min...All in all I suppose your getting value for money, but you gotta look after the pennies...

It’s a quick entry tonight as it is the start of the Glasgow Comedy Festival and I’m rushing out tonight to attend Dave Heffron’s 1 Man Show “Nerd Alert!” at Georgics Bar, I’ll let you know how it goes…

Amsterdam Photo Tour (Part III)

So this brings me onto the third selection of photographs from my trip to Amsterdam. The photo of myself and Tom Hanks is just one of many taken whilst visiting Madame Tausaud's there. Anyone who's been, to either that one or London's one, knows that it's a great day out, but you can make it even better by playing a wee game while you're there. The next time you go along - just find a spot where there aren't too many waxworks around and stand perfectly still. I will GUARANTEE you that some stupid tourist will pose next to you for a photograph - not giving a toss what famous person you are. Just as the photo is about to be taken, grab them and let out a yell! I assure you this is great fun - but if you accidentally scare an elderly person to death, don't be blaming the blog you read on the Internet!

While also in Amsterdam, there is the opportunity to visit Anne Frank's house. Having never read the diary I never really understood what all the fuss was about. In fairness though, I don't imagine it being the most exciting diary in the world...

"Monday - Stayed in
Tuesday - Stayed in
Wednesday - Stayed in..."

...

No trip to Amsterdam is complete without a visit to the Red Light District and the Sex Museum. I include a picture of my lovely girlfriend Claire:

In fairness, this isn't the first time she's been photographed next to a giant cock - anyone with a 2003 Hutchesons' Grammar School yearbook will know what I mean.

Catch ya tomorrow for the final Amsterdam installment.

Amsterdam Photo Tour (Part II)

Continuing with my photographic tour of Amsterdam - we move on to another couple of pictures.

As we all know, Amsterdam is full of canals - with some of the locals choosing to live on a boat as opposed to in a house. While this seems like quite a nice idea - being such a pessimist, I can't help but think of the disadvantages. Now anyone that has been robbed or burgled before will agree that it is one of the most infuriating scenarios in the world - especially if they trash your house in the meantime. But, most of my expensive things tend to be far too large to steal easily - such as a widescreen TV and desktop pc. What a great situation for a burglar if they could just steal your whole house, contents and all! While I can never be sure that I won't come home to a ransacked residence - I can safely say that when I come home, I will actually be coming home - even if the possessions previously inside had mysteriously vanished!

So why all this talk of house-boats and burglars? Well it's basically inspired by the following two photographs - shot at completely different times. The first picture shows a group of local Amsterdam tramps, that I snapped without their knowledge or consent! Don't worry, I think I'm safe with the assumption that they will never find out their picture is on the internet - unless they sleep in the doorway of PC World - but it's a chance I'm going to take. Just have a look at it - there are all the stereotypical tramp images. The dogs at the side, the carrier bag full of booze in the middle of the group, the guy on the far right (who although he lives in a city full of canals, looks like he hasn't seen water in a couple of years) and finally, the coup de gras, the bloke passed out in the middle of the grass. It was around 2pm and he was jaked out his nut...Amsterdam tramps, absolutely priceless! Please don't think I am associating all tramps with burglars, this is not the case, I merely thought that the bike on the left was far too big for the guy sitting on it and could be stolen - he may have however bought a larger than normal bike so that when he wore his ridiculously large Dutch clogs, his feet would rest perfectly on the pedals...





The second photo - quite simply this is the worst house-boat EVER! I have to think that my lads in the first photo would rather remain residentially inconvenienced than stoop to the level of this...I can't even find a word good enough...There's no more that can be said today after seeing that picture...just absolutely awesome...

Amsterdam Photo Tour

Last year I spent a week in Amsterdam, which was awesome! I've included some of the photos, and I see this as the perfect place to explain them.



















The photos above are the view from the hotel balcony. "Quite a nice view" I'm sure you're musing - well yes it was. But have a look at the second picture, the one that focuses on the rooftops. Now look closely at the roof of the house with the red windows, closer, just a wee bit closer - there! What's that? No you're not imagining it - it's a shopping trolley. Look closer - there is no way onto that roof from that building, so how did it get there?

After spending some time thinking about it, I have narrowed it down to 3 possibilites that I will share with you now.

1. That it was put there by the Amsterdam equivalent of neds, while they were jellied up, or possibly even Glaswegian neds on holiday showing the Dutch some of their own culture.

2. That it fell out of an airplane carrying shopping trolleys to a new 'Iceland' store located in the near vicinity.

3. The people that live in the house put the trolley on their roof so that people staying in the hotel opposite would take photographs of it and post it on the internet.

Now, as I'm sure you'd agree, each of those scenarios are extremely plausible in their own right. It just puzzles me immensley as there is not only the question of HOW did that get up there, but also WHY would anyone put it there? What would anyone have to gain? The more I think about it, the more unsure I am. Anyway if any of you have any alternate scenarios please leave a comment!