Today I went to The Oran Mor with my friend Hannah to see a play (my God aren’t we just so cultured)…obviously the play wasn’t the only reason I went – there was also a pie and a pint involved. Fuck it; if they throw in a couple of cigars I might even consider the opera.
The play we went to see, was entitled Metrosexual and was written by a friend of mine, Sandy Nelson. I really enjoyed it and if you get the chance to catch it – you really should.
After the play finished, Hannah & I were sat outside in the beer garden, when a Big Issue seller came round the tables looking for some business.
No one felt generous enough to purchase a copy, but everyone was friendly enough to indulge him in some chat. The best of which occurred at the table across from us where there was a large group that had left their shopping and bags on the seats at the table behind them.
The Big Issue guy then advised them not to leave their stuff there as some unscrupulous deviant may decide to procure it for themselves*.
The whole situation struck me as very amusing. I am certain no one else in the vicinity thought for a second that their bags were in danger; however this guy (clearly a seasoned pro when it comes to bag thievery) started warning everyone.
Perhaps this was because he had now turned over a new leaf and didn’t want people getting their goods stolen – or perhaps he didn’t want his bag thieving competitors to benefit from the easy targets he couldn’t touch as he was selling magazines.
I’m sure either is possible, however due to prejudice I’d like to think it’s the latter – it makes a funnier story.
*I think his actual words were “Dinnae leave that shite there, some fucker will be aff wi’ it.”
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